I was going to advertise

FREE GRAIN OF RICE WITH EVERY PURCHASE

but Teresa (The “Head Cheese” around here) nixed that idea. I thought it was kind of clever.

I just discovered that (at least in Windows XP) There is an “On screen keyboard” option. If your keyboard acts up sometimes (I had one of light-up keyboards that turned out to be krap) - Try this…
Start menu->Select Run->Type OSK->Press OK

You will get a virtual keyboard , you can use your mouse to type on it. It makes me wonder what other treasures are hidden in that beige box by my knee.

You folks who are googling us for Weird Novelty Gifts, Funny Gifts Novelty Store, Giant Desk Stuff, and stuff like that, we are building an EVEN BETTER cheap novelty store at NoveltyTradingPost.com - Does this imply that we accept other novelties in trade? Perhaps. What have you got for us?

Our eternal quest for the perfect shopping cart continues- Now we are trying Volusion - a bit more pricey than our last effort but renting a storefront in a building would be a lot more, I reasoned…

We only have maybe a few dozen items up so far, but it looks good so far. I think the checkout could be a little more streamlined, and I don’t like it demanding customer emails AND phone numbers, but hey, you can’t have everything. We are planning to move more into mail order with a catalog and all anyway.

Have a look, this one is called NoveltyTradingPost.com

I had some better names in mind but domain name squatters were peddling them and I won’t do business with scalpers. That’s basically what they are, same as ticket scalpers, standing in the alley with your tickets to CATS or whatever at twice the price, and would you be interested in a Shmolex timepiece?

I was looking at the search logs for last week, seems someone searched for “wholesale novelty company” right here, and got no results! This post will correct that- just click on the “golden handtruck” above!

And for those using sort of generic terms looking for our retail division, buy direct, shop the “golden shopping cart” above for that! I’m talking to you, mister “weird novelty gifts”, “gag playing cards”, “desk toys”, “giant desk toys”….

We are going to have “review posts” here for everything, but I found that I had too many irons in the fire, so guess I better get to my blacksmithing job… There’s nothing worse than an angry blacksmithing “team leader” (sarcastic poke at a major local factory I moonlight at).

Got a website? If you have seen the yellow “Popular Searches” tag cloud (about halfway down on the left sidebar) That’s “Lijit” - The tag cloud updates automatically with items our blog viewers are searching for there- It’s a great tool and I love the price (free) - They send us weekly search reports so I can make sure our users are finding the stuff they are searching for (They tell me what the “not found” search terms are too). I just think they are the neatest thing since MP3 players.

Lijit is having a contest with lots of cool prizes available. So if you ever thought about giving it a whirl, now is the time. It takes like one minute to install if you type fast.

We are always bombarded with offers to make our website into a cohesive well-made and professional looking store. While I agree that this strategy would increase our business, we have resisted the notion because;

1. It would require spending a LOT more money on overhead - Which drives prices UP. We know this; Our customers crave the lowest possible price, and they do shop around.
2. We would have to WORK a lot harder JUST to maintain the meager profit we are getting. I already have this and a night job in a warehouse. That would be a drag.
3. I like to tweak my ugly little websites. It gives me an excuse to avoid the “job jar”. It’s my creative outlet, so I don’t keep my weirdness bottled up. (That’s not healthy.)

What do you think? Should The Restless Mouse give in to the demands of the rat race? If so, WHY?

Sometimes people email our return policy page just to vent;

Dear Teresa,
I had purchased a pair of Dr. Scholl’s sneakers from the Wall mart in Mechanicsburg PA about two weeks ago and I am already having problems with them falling apart and they are not supporting my feet.
I am NOT very happy with this product.
In my opinion this product is not very good. my old sneakers witch was a K Mart brand held up better than the Dr. Scholl’s
Thank you for your time
Sincerely
Hollyanna A.

Dear Hollyanna,
I can’t say this is the case with Dr. Scholl’s products, but WalMart has so much purchasing leverage, that sometimes they will force name-brand producers of consumer goods to produce cheaper goods to meet their price points; So the Dr. Scholl’s you get at another store may not be the same, even if the packaging looks the same. Anyway, that’s what I heard.

Anyway, you should take them back to the store and get a refund as soon as possible. If enough people return shoddy items, it will become unprofitable for them to cut those particular corners. If they give you a hard time, get loud. Good luck, Teresa@therestlessmouse.com

PHONE NUMBERS

Cell 425-343-6750

Toll Free Line 1-800-948-5785

PLEASE… No salesmen, agents, representatives, etc. IE No Peddlers

I have a real problem with telephones. They are so… insistent. Unfortunately they are a necessary tool to maintain our most excellent customer service.

THE PROBLEM; The Restless Mouse family of fine websites doesn’t throw off cash like a drunken congressman. So, I work in a warehouse at night, sleep some in the morning and some in the evening. In theory, Teresa, (AKA the “real head cheese”) is supposed to take the cellphone with her when I am sleeping. But it doesn’t always happen, for example she won’t answer it if she is driving, taking a shower, in the bathroom (bad accoustics) etc.

Anyhoo… Pulleeeze… Leave a message if no one answers, or better yet shoot us an email. We really do want your business, or else what’s the point of all this….

We are still working on a catalog, if you want one when we have something put together, or even just a list of items and prices, Please email us with your street address or PO BOX. K Thanks John (Assistant to the Head Cheese)