I’ve noticed some people come to our site via some variation of “get a novelty manufactured” - We don’t make anything, we are just a rusty little link in the gag gift and novelty item supply chain. However, I’ve got a tip for those searchers- http://www.thomasnet.com/ - It’s the online version of those huge green catalogs full of manufacturers of all things, used to be you had to traipse to the public library to look at them, now it’s online and easy to search. Enjoy! If you get a novelty item made that would be a good fit here, email us, we are always looking for new oddities to peddle.
WHAT THE POLICE BLOTTER SAID:
Suspicious – 5000 block H. P. Blvd.
An anonymous caller reported that about an hour and 15 minutes prior to
calling 911, she observed a “Hispanic looking male in his fifties,
walking back and forth around the schools.” She said she was
“concerned for the kids’ safety.” He was not located.
WHAT THE POLICE BLOTTER MEANT TO SAY:
Suspicious – 5000 block H. P. Blvd.
An anonymous caller reported that about an hour and 15 minutes prior to
calling 911, she observed a “Hispanic looking male in his fifties,
walking back and forth around the schools.” She said she was
“concerned for the kids’ safety.” The man was located and cited for looking hispanic in a school zone.
I call this game “Police Blotters we would like to see.” To wit;
WHAT THE POLICE BLOTTER SAID:
Neighbor Problem -An officer responded to the above apartment for a harassment
complaint. A party reported that she was having problems with her
neighbors swearing at her. The officer explained her options.
WHAT THE POLICE BLOTTER should have SAID:
Neighbor Problem -An officer responded to the above apartment for a harassment
complaint. A party reported that she was having problems with her
neighbors swearing at her. The officer told her to go fuck herself.
I was considering advertising in blogs via the “HA Blog Ads Humor Network” but it’s pay per time period rather than pay per click… I’m concerned that no one will even see our ads, due to the usual “ad blindness” people have plus the content is so darn riveting on some of these blogs.
Take, for instance, “Small Town Misfit” - it’s one of those “Police Blotter” blogs. A recent post was from around here, in Mukilteo, WA.;
Officers responded for a vehicle driving on the running track. The officers located the vehicle leaving the school. The officers saw no obvious damage to the track (but it was dark and covered in snow). The driver was cited for violating his intermediate license restrictions and his father came and picked him up.”
… (By the way, the snow we get around here is white like everyone else’s.) I see no problem with what the kid was doing. There are always joggers in the road, it only seems fair that people should be able to drive on the track.
Lisa C. wants a catalog but I hope she isn’t going to use it for what I think… It’s not a corncob…
“…with the price of toilet paper rising it is always best to get the paper catalog if possible…could be useful in the future…”
The Restless Mouse Novelty Co is closed today, Mother’s Day - Momma is watching some crap on Lifetime, and me I’m feeling sort of ugly today. My brother used to joke that I should get a job at the bakery being a mold for animal cookies, and today I believe I could do it. Having a bad skull day or something?
Been up half the night working on some kind of half-ass catalog for those who request same- I suppose they think they will get a fancy overpriced catalog like we were Johnson-Smith or Archie Mcphee - No, our catalog is crap, but our prices are amazingly low. There’s a subtle connection there somewhere.
New business mergers!
Grey Poupon and Dockers Pants: New company will be called -
Poupon Pants. (my warped sense of humor loves this one!:)
Knott’s Berry Farms and National Organization of Women: New
company will be called - Knott NOW!!!
We got a whole case of these nasty foods cookbooks, just because they are fun and kids will actually learn something while they think they are being all subversive and disgusting. I kind of wish they had these when I was a kid. Had to settle for making Cheese-whiz faces on my Hi-Ho’s.
From IUsedToBelieve.com
When I was younger I asked my mom why you had to go slow past a school and she told me it was in case a kid ran out in front of the car you would be able to stop quick enough to get out and spank them. I was VERY careful not get off the sidewalk when I was at school for a long time after that!
Kai
… I would tell my kids all sorts of crap like that. No wonder they are so cynical already.
“John & Marsha decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8 year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.
He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation.
‘There’s a car being towed from the parking lot’ he shouted.
A few moments passed ‘An ambulance just drove by’
A few moments passed.
‘Looks like the Andersons have company’ he called out.
‘Matt’s riding a new bike’
‘The Coopers are having sex!!’
Startled, Mother and Dad shot up in bed!!!
Dad cautiously asked ‘How do you know they are having sex??’
‘Jimmy Cooper is standing out on his balcony too’”
