The Restless Mouse

more graph humor and song chart memes

We are constantly bombarded with emails from Chinese manufacturers, touting all kinds of strange products, I kind of think these are small operations trying to emulate the success of others, but not there just yet… Although I am sort of intrigued by this “eye massager”….

Hooks into your USB port, then what? I don’t want to end up on the church lawn clawing my eyes out. They need to provide more details. Can I wear it in the bathtub?

My Oh My, and I’m not talking baseball (esp. this year)

The Seattle Post-Intelligencer runs an opinion column that actually has this bit of nonsense in it… I always thought you had to have some sort of edumacashion to write for them big city newspapers…

“…This weekend in my own neighborhood I observed one guy driving a Maserati with his top down. I counted three Hummers and I spied one couple pulling a powerboat behind a Cadillac Escalade. Far as I can tell, if Americans had any common sense, such behavior would have been banned years ago. Either that, or taxed into oblivion…”

Gosh! He had his top down! Personally I don’t care if they are pulling a Cadillac Escalade behind their powerboat… Isn’t this supposed to be a free country?? Do I have to trade in my decrepit Ford Explorer for a motor scooter? It’s got so many miles on it, it’s more of a science project than a truck nowadays… Would than earn me points in her snooty court of public opinion?

P.S. Here’s a link to the PI article in case you think I am making this nonsense up to stir the pot. Turns out she is syndicated out of Washington, D.C. - Has a show called “To the Contrary” - So this must be a big phony shtick like that Dr. Laura. That figures. Back in the day us common people would run her out of town, but hardly anyone has pitchforks handy anymore.

Kudos to Pam W. at handmadecatalog.com - I bought a light box for tracing art from her on ebay, but when it arrived the light bulb was broken- I emailed her about it and got this reply;

Hi John, I am sorry to hear the light box arrived with a broken bulb. It wasn’t broken when it was shipped as I inspected it personally, but that doesn’t help you much does it. I will send you a replacement light bulb in tomorrow’s mail.

How cool is that? it’s when things go wrong that business people show their stuff.

A popular item, we only have a few of these “Giant Knife and Fork” sets left.

The distributor tells me that the word on the street is that the machine is broken and the manufacturer is trying to scrounge up parts. I have the impression that it is a very old, one of a kind machine, perhaps with lots of cast iron, maybe some greasy old glass indicators you can’t hardly read anymore, only an old guy named Henry knows how to make the forks come out perfectly. Alas, Henry’s improvised repairs just aren’t enough to keep the old girl running.

But I digress. I hope they don’t go the way of Gheradelli Flicks candy, I loved those as a kid, but I read that the packaging machine they used finally broke, and wasn’t cost effective to fix. This puzzled me because Flicks were basically giant chocolate chips wrapped in a large cardboard tube with a foil wrapper. How hard is that? Gosh, now I’m hungry.

Anyway, we are in constant contact with the supply chain, utilizing our core competencies or whatever, we’ll keep you posted on new developments.

Switched to this new template today, It looked really neato when first installed, but as usual I have quickly uglified it. The problem is that when I find some aspects of the new template to be utterly confounding, I stick with what I know, and what I know is how to uglify the overall look of the thing. Maybe I should just go back to sitting in front of the TIVO box catching up on “How I Met your Mother”. What is that? Well, it’s kind of like an edgier version of “Friends” with a better looking cast. (Well it’s TRUE)

I thought our wooden round tuits were very cool until I saw these made with bits of stained glass from glassradiance.com - Now I have to drop everything and go buy one, as Teresa insists. It’s a wonder I get anything done at all. I’ll post here when it arrives.

Little Johnny was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He’d been
playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house
and asked her, ‘Grandma, what’s that called when two people sleep in the
same room and one is on top of the other?’

She was a little taken aback, but she decided to just tell him the truth.
‘It’s called sexual intercourse, darling.’ Little Tony just said, ‘Oh, OK,’
and went back outside to play with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, ‘Grandma, it isn’t
called sexual intercourse. It’s called Bunk Beds. And Jimmy’s Mom wants to
talk to you.’

A third shift worker should *not* volunteer for overtime on a holiday weekend. The weather is just perfect today, and everyone is enjoying it.

I somehow managed to get some sleep anyway, but I think my neighbors are playing cards and watching Nick at Nite. I just woke up from a dream and apparently Danny Bonaduce owes me fifty five dollars.

We are constantly bombarded with advice on how to make our websites better at getting visitors and then getting those visitors to buy something… to wit…

You’ve got under five seconds to convince people to stay on your website… so your headline has to grab them by the eyeballs and compel them to read on!

… Gosh, grab them by the eyeballs? That doesn’t sound conducive to a pleasant shopping experience? Can’t we just hold hands?