If you google “John Everett”…
I’m not the guy with the Funeral Home…
I don’t work at the Canadian Institute for Theoretical Astrophysics. (My “string theory” involves wondering why my shirt is unraveling)
I’m not the photographer in Houston (Although I must say his work impresses me. Wonder if I could get a Doppleganger discount?)
Didn’t write a technical book about “Very Small Aperture Terminals” (Why don’t they just make the doors to the airport building bigger?)
I’m not the 19 year old NYC comedian named John Everett with all the pretty girls flirting with him on his MySpace page, although we have a few things in common (I go off on rants sometimes, and I also do a fair Bill Cosby impression, although it’s probably 20 years out of date and involves Jello pudding)
Most certainly am not John Everett the Highwayman, Turnkey and Ale-House Keeper. Executed at Tyburn, 20th of February, 1729. What’s a “Turnkey” anyway?
… still looking for myself and I am up to page 11 of the Google results… Doctors, Lawyers, Engineers, Mathematicians… Starting to feel like a bit of an underachiever…
Maybe it’s just as well I’m not in the google. I’m going to go curl up in a ball in my room now.
Didn’t get this one at first; guy on the radio was saying…
I saw a wino eating grapes. I told him, “Dude! you have to WAIT.”
Mini Wooden Rolling Pin at 7.5″ long, it’s a bit on the small side for any serious baking. Hey, times are tough, we had to cut back somewhere.
Retro Assistant Manager Pennant When your underachieving brethren finally achieve what will probably be the pinnacle of success, it’s time to celebrate with this super “Assistant Manager” pennant. Special price while supplies last, just $2.88! How could you not?
NEW LOW PRICE HERE TOO: BILL Clinton $6 bill I suppose if we are going to poke fun at Hillary we need to include Bill. 25 $6 bills just $1.49. Orders including “Hillary Money” or “Bill Money” get a free “behind the scenes” upgrade to priority mail. Stash them away and sell them on eBaY when Chelsea runs. (It bears repeating)
YOUR DUCK IS DEAD: DEAD rubber duck These dead bathtub duckies are a lot of fun, I always plan to slip some into the Arlington Rubber Duck race they have every summer, but I never get around tuit. Just added a qty. discount on this one.
NEW LOW PRICE: Hillary Clinton $3 bill What can I say, this political money needs to get out there. Time is of the essence. 25 $3 bills just $1.49. Orders with “Hillary Money” included get a free “behind the scenes” upgrade to priority mail. Stash them away and sell them on eBaY when Chelsea runs.
Found while investigation noise in one of attic spaces: One KM-8 “Sock Em” boxing glove. Add this to artifacts found around the house and yard, old beer bottles in the wall behind the medicine cabinet, Motorcycle wheels in the stickers, some steel pipes, some sort of multi-level spool thing, what else? Various balls and frisbees may have come from adjacent yards. Lots of glass and plastic found digging around in the far back yard, I think they used to burn their garbage rather than pay for pickup. I found a doll’s head back there, and a kitchen knife. It’s kind of disturbing, I better not dwell on it.
