I am probably going to get hate mail for this, but I had to chuckle when I found the
Freegan.info website. What is a “Freegan”?
“Freegans are people who employ alternative strategies for living based on limited participation in the conventional economy and minimal consumption of resources. Freegans embrace community, generosity, social concern, freedom, cooperation, and sharing in opposition to a society based on materialism, moral apathy, competition, conformity, and greed.
But it should actually say:
“Freegans are kids who grew up in suburbia who choose to be pretentious society-hating twits and eat out of dumpsters, until they get worms or food poisoning, or a real street person defends his turf. Freegans embrace community and generosity, which involves your couch, so get some febreze, it really helps. Also get some earplugs so you won’t have to hear them whine about a society based on materialism, moral apathy, competition, conformity, and greed.
Is this thing on?
I love how it’s freegan.info not freegan.com - But some domain speculator snatched that one up, so if you want to get freegan.com for the sheer irony of it, you will have to negotiate with them. They probably have children laboring at keyboards in some dingy basement, looking for domain names to hijack.
THAT BEING SAID - I found the chair I am sitting in next to a dumpster. The arms flip around and will dump you on the floor if you are clumsy, but other than that, it’s very comfortable and was just like new. Plus I didn’t have to go to some exploitative big office supply store that’s trying to keep the man down through the sale of inexpensive paper clips.
I just read that a radio station in WV is giving away a free divorce in a valentine’s day drawing, but that’s kind of permanent. Tell you what, anybody who orders one of our handy Temporary Divorce Certificates, while supplies last, get a $1.00 CASH refund to get the party started. You might say we will PAY YOU to try the divorce thing out; most people just need to see that the grass on the single side of the fence is full of nettles.
NOT A COUPON: Just put the phrase “FREEDOM IS NOT FREE” in the comments section when you order at ThatRestlessMouse.com (The orange site that the link above takes you to)
UPDATE 2/23/08 - Only 3 Divorce Certs left! Speak now or forever hold your peas. Whatever THAT means.
Bagger? I thought it said I was a cashier. No matter, I can work my way up to assistant manager in no time.
I was thinking, some people get a like freaked out by all this e-commerce, we get at least one or two requests for catalogs every day, carbon credits and spotted owls be damned.
So anyway, if you like what you see but don’t want to go with it online, just print the shopping cart page when you have all the stuff you want there, add three bucks for shipping, and call us toll free at 1-800-948-5785 - We will be happy to take your order that way. OR- you can mail us a check, make/send to:
TheRestlessMouse.com
PO Box 3022
Arlington, WA 98223
… Anyway you do it, we will do everything we can to make so delightful you can hardly stand it.
Item #TG2121: Boss Toss, flinger of managers, tosser of tyrants…
The Boss Tosser is another wonderful “catapult” toy for the office,
this ones tosses upper management with great force. Four different generic interchangable middle management drone figures included with each boss flinger. #3.99 
Item #TG2118: Cruel but mildly amusing CATapult
Our catapult comes with four specially trained Cat flingees.
Carded with a bullseye on the back, a really fun office toy. These chuckers and flingers are all $3.99 Others are getting $5.99 for them!! That’s excessive.
… So the plan is to post items as blog posts and use these tags and categories to help you find them. It will be amazingly annoying and frustrating. But all good things start out like that.
MAN… I wrote this long and eloquent description of our $2.99 shipping special… But somehow lost it along the way. I HATE THAT. It was really some of my best work. You would have liked it. SAVE YOUR WORK!
Switching TheRestlessMouse.com to an “all blog” format. It will be awesome.
