THE RESTLESS MOUSE news and comment

Lisa C. wants a catalog but I hope she isn’t going to use it for what I think… It’s not a corncob…

“…with the price of toilet paper rising it is always best to get the paper catalog if possible…could be useful in the future…”

The Restless Mouse Novelty Co is closed today, Mother’s Day - Momma is watching some crap on Lifetime, and me I’m feeling sort of ugly today. My brother used to joke that I should get a job at the bakery being a mold for animal cookies, and today I believe I could do it. Having a bad skull day or something?

Been up half the night working on some kind of half-ass catalog for those who request same- I suppose they think they will get a fancy overpriced catalog like we were Johnson-Smith or Archie Mcphee - No, our catalog is crap, but our prices are amazingly low. There’s a subtle connection there somewhere.

New business mergers!

Grey Poupon and Dockers Pants: New company will be called -
Poupon Pants. (my warped sense of humor loves this one!:)

Knott’s Berry Farms and National Organization of Women: New
company will be called - Knott NOW!!!

We got a whole case of these nasty foods cookbooks, just because they are fun and kids will actually learn something while they think they are being all subversive and disgusting. I kind of wish they had these when I was a kid. Had to settle for making Cheese-whiz faces on my Hi-Ho’s.

From IUsedToBelieve.com

When I was younger I asked my mom why you had to go slow past a school and she told me it was in case a kid ran out in front of the car you would be able to stop quick enough to get out and spank them. I was VERY careful not get off the sidewalk when I was at school for a long time after that!
Kai

… I would tell my kids all sorts of crap like that. No wonder they are so cynical already.

“John & Marsha decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8 year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.
He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation.
‘There’s a car being towed from the parking lot’ he shouted.
A few moments passed ‘An ambulance just drove by’
A few moments passed.
‘Looks like the Andersons have company’ he called out.
‘Matt’s riding a new bike’
‘The Coopers are having sex!!’
Startled, Mother and Dad shot up in bed!!!
Dad cautiously asked ‘How do you know they are having sex??’
‘Jimmy Cooper is standing out on his balcony too’”

Noticed folks were checking out our PR7202 Giant Toothbrush. Actually it’s 15″ long, so it would be for someone say, thirteen feet tall- Is that giant enough for you? They come in Yellow, Red, or Green.

For many years our main vehicle was a 1994 Corsica. It ran very good, and gave up very little trouble overall.

But in it’s later years it developed a habit of refusing to allow anyone in, even with a key.

You had to lift the driver’s door handle just about halfway and sort of jiggle it, then stop and swear, and repeat, the second time it would let you in. If you didn’t swear out loud or if you kicked the car, you had to start over. If in a hurry, forget it, use the other car.

I took to leaving the window (the one that actually worked) rolled down halfway so I could reach in and defeat the evil one that way.

I am only embellishing a little bit here.

It may have something to do with the Mrs. hitting the camper jack when she has backing out one time, although the lockout problem didn’t start right away. I should have gotten another door at a wrecking yard but was short of cash and the car was getting long of tooth by then.

Besides, as you know Chevy Corsicas are a rare and exotic breed of car and would probably be prohibitively expensive to fix. The dealership charged my wife $79.95 just to re-scent the Little Tree air freshener.

I was going to advertise

FREE GRAIN OF RICE WITH EVERY PURCHASE

but Teresa (The “Head Cheese” around here) nixed that idea. I thought it was kind of clever.

From the Snohomish County Freecycle mailing list:

I have about 8-10 pounds of palm oil and another 8-10 pounds of coconut oil that have
gone rancid (they stink). They might be good for bio-diesel.

… Has it come to that? Do people have cars that you can dump any old kind of oil in the tank and drive away? Like on Back to The Future III? I need to look into that- Paid $3.69-9 a gallon this morning… For Regular… apparently Ethel is getting too big for her britches…