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The Restless Mouse
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Page 2: "The one with the special offer"

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Postman's Blue Plate Special

For a limited time, get it faster at no extra charge

It's the "Postman Special" some of our customers may remember, we do this from time to time. You get PRIORITY MAIL instead of standard parcel or mail shipping. You will get your stuff a lot faster.

I couldn't find a way to create a coupon that would do this, our store's coupon system is harder than Chinese Math with a dull pencil.

THE WORKAROUND: Just put the "Phrase that Pays" (see below) in the COMMENTS section when you order. This won't work as a coupon.

THE FINE PRINT ON THIS OFFER:

• Offer expires the day after we erase this post! So if you are seeing it here, it's still good.
• Good on USA orders only!
• The phrase that pays is: "The Postman is Smiling".

Gosh, it wasn't supposed to be that complicated! I ought to work for the government.

Operators are standing by

Actually, our operators are in a post-hypnotic trance on the couch in the basement. I am trying to make them believe they already got paid. Nevertheless we will snap our fingers and they will remember nothing, happily taking your order on our call (425)343-6750 or if you still have metered long distance, please use our toll-free number, 1-800-948-5785

If you called recently, and got no answer, please forgive me- I had to go to a meeting and I put the dumb cellphone in "silent running" mode, and forgot to switch it back. I wish there was a big warning message/ reminder on the screen so I would remember to change it back.

Where is my 12 step program?

There should be a 12 step program for people who buy inventory they know isn't going to exactly fly off the shelves. Actually I would get too much of that too and wind up with a 22 step program.

For example, a guy was closing out his stock of these silly Novelty Driver's License Souvenirs, so I bought them all; They look new but they must be old stock, I got Monica from Friends, and even "The Fonz". What was I thinking? Still not done scanning them in and posting them to the website.

( Is something we usually carry missing from our inventory? Check out our Inventory Status Page - or just email, or call. )

Free Novelty Detective Work

We don't just shrug and turn away. If we don't have what you are looking for, we'll check our sources, do some online research, call some old-timer novelty guys ( One says, "When you get to be my age, every cushion is a fart cushion!" ) We always make valuable discoveries in the process.

The Restless Mouse carries hundreds of novelty and retro items, please take a stroll through our virtual aisles.
Thanks for visiting, John & Teresa Everett, Proprietors

We aim to please on Page Three

CAVALCADE
OF SAVINGS
Whatever that means