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Let's not go there

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Worst classmates ad ever! Do you think I didn't know what they called me? Especially that one in the corner (see arrow), Mother said she did it because she LIKED me. She sure had a funny way of showing it. She would always ride her bike in the street in front of my kool-aid stand and drive away business. I think people would NOTICE if my kool-aid had "cooties".

And she could KICK. I had to wear long pants into the summer to hide the scars.

I guess the idea on these classmate finding sites is to round each other up, reminisce and laugh, and then proceed to make each other miserable again only on a larger scale. (Heather K. of Cromwell Park circa 1972 - I'm kidding! You are always welcome at my kool-aid stand!)

Labels: advertising, family, History, School

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Nrrrggghhh means I love you

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Created by Mingle2.com (Dating for non-zombies)

Sorry, I don't date fellow employees. (Don't get your honey where you make your money).

But if I did, I would give them these lovely romance rats as tokens of my love.

Labels: goods, love rats, parody, weird wide web, zombies

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Lost in translation? pupil-rubbing machine.

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We are constantly bombarded with emails from Chinese manufacturers, touting all kinds of strange products, I kind of think these are small operations trying to emulate the success of others, but not there just yet. Although I am sort of intrigued by this "eye massager"

Hooks into your USB port, then what? I don't want to end up on the church lawn clawing my eyes out. They need to provide more details. Can I wear it in the bathtub?

Labels: advertising, China, computers, oddities

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Real world math lesson.

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more graph humor and song chart memes

Labels: humor, math, telemarketers

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Art is subjective. Spouse is selective.

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I could have had this statue at a local garage sale for a song, I think it was there at the sale they had last year too. But I suspect that Teresa would question the artistic value of this specimen vis-a-vis the aesthetic sensibilities of our abode. All of a sudden she's a museum curator? Next year, I am buying it. I hope it doesn't get ruined by the humidity in the garage.

Labels: fine art, garage sales, Married Life

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The Simple Life

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Found this at the bottom of a "spam" message. Can I go too?


Be also notified that I will no longer be reading my emails or surfing the
internet as I have retired completely from the outside world to my ranch,
at this moment I have nothing to do with cars, emails and other luxuries

Labels: lifehacks, spam

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Freecycle people don't mind the smell

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From the "Snohomish County Freecycle" mailing list:

I have about 8-10 pounds of palm oil and another 8-10 pounds of coconut oil that have gone rancid (they stink). They might be good for bio-diesel.

Has it come to that? Do people have cars that you can dump any old kind of grease or oil in the tank and the machine runs flawlessly? Like on Back to The Future III? I need to look into that. Our friend Ethyl is getting a bit too big for her britches.

Labels: driving, freecycle, movies, recycling

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Question about fire

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Why is it that when your car catches on fire, it burns up, but if your house catches on fire, it burns down?

Normally I would ask my insurance guy, but this question would probably make my rates go up.

Labels: fire, humor, insurance

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Who am I?

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If you google "John Everett":

I'm not the guy with the Funeral Home, the Private Investigator (JohnEverettPI.com! How cool is that!) nor am I the real estate guy.

I don't work at the Canadian Institute for Theoretical Astrophysics. (My "string theory" involves wondering why my shirt is unraveling)

I'm not the photographer in Houston (Although I must say his work impresses me. Wonder if I could get a Doppleganger discount?)

Didn't write a technical book about "Very Small Aperture Terminals" (Why don't they make the doors to the airport building bigger?)

I'm not the 19 year old NYC comedian named John Everett with all the pretty girls flirting with him on his MySpace page, although we have a few things in common (I go off on rants sometimes, and I also do a fair Bill Cosby impression, although it's probably 20 years out of date and involves Jello pudding)

Most certainly am not John Everett the Highwayman, Turnkey and Ale-House Keeper. Executed at Tyburn, 20th of February, 1729. What's a "Turnkey" anyway?

I'm still looking for myself, up to page 11 of the Google results; Doctors, Lawyers, Engineers, Mathematicians. Starting to feel like a bit of an underachiever!

There is a Classmates link but I'm not in there either- and I'm a paying member!!

Maybe it's just as well that I am not in the google listings. I'll go in my room and curl up in a ball now.

Labels: dopplegangers, google, identity

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I'm a little slow on the uptake...

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I didn't get this one at first; guy on the radio was saying;

I saw a wino eating grapes. I told him, "Dude! you have to WAIT."

Labels: jokes

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Who keeps CALLING me?

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For when you want to know who is calling, what the company is calling about (and what they want), without having to call them unarmed for a battle of wits. 800notes.com comes in mighty handy. Lots of other consumer links there too.

Labels: battle of wits, consumer rights, www

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Random memory

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This site; That Was Random! ...reminds me of a show from the 70's called "Real People with Sarah Purcell". Recently the site has a guy who can move his eyes independently of each other, and videos of people who have problems with travel trailers, and a bunch of other interesting bits.

I wonder what ever became of Sarah Purcell? And why do I remember her name, but not the names of my children?

Labels: memories, TV, weird wide web

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